Moose free zone...

After living with my girlfriend for 15 years we've split up and I've found myself back on the singles scene...

Now initially I approached this with relish and threw myself into the part of a bachelor actively seeking female company and was immediately surprised at how easy it all was. I'd never been that successful with women in my 20's. Oh I'd had a number of girlfriends but "pulling" on a night out with the lads was usually restricted to my raising my trousers after a visit to the Gents... And the more beer I consumed the less likely females were to show any interest in my feeble attempts to chat them up. Of course when drunk my chat up lines tended to go..."Eerrr you luk luverly... fancy a pint? Bugger I need a piss!... 'ang on a mo"... Strangely enough they didn't and my only company on the long stagger home was the ubiquitous kebab.

That was the 1980's, today the world has moved on, or perhaps I have, but I found it very easy to "pull" although not so easy to make the one night stand into a lasting relationship... and after a year has passed I'm now feeling the need for something less transient and more permanent, but the pubs and clubs seem no place to find this...

So my thoughts trailed inevitably to the Internet, a dating site, the problem is which one... something generic like http://www.match.com/ ... or more specialised, say for the over 40's, or those only looking for a long term relationship?

Once you start to look for anything on the search engines you get immediately sucked in...

Are you a millionaire wanting a young nubile blonde?

Are you looking for a Russian bride..?

Perhaps a Chinese bride..?

Thai..? Indonesian..? Asian..?

Its like deciding on your takeaway after a night on the ale, the problem is if you make the wrong choice on a takeaway you're on the loo for the night, make a wrong choice on dating and well... the consequences are much more long term, and painful... take it from me... I'm a divorce lawyer.

There are speciality sites for every type of dating conundrum, Want to date only those sharing your own STD? Theres a site for it... Want to date only blondes? Yup... that's possible too.

And it was whilst trawling through this plethora of choice I came across http://www.darwindating.com/

Now this site operates on a perversion of the Darwinian premise, the survival of the best looking. Yes I kid you not dear reader... DarwinDating is apparently a moose free zone. All potential members have to submit photos of themselves when they will be voted on by the membership to determine if they have the stunning looks to join... most fail... indeed it is rumoured that one of the site owners submitted an application for membership and was promptly rejected!!

But this leads inevitably to the big question, if all members on this beautiful site are elected by the membership then which came first; the elected... or the electors? How were the first members chosen? The old chicken and egg scenario. And you can't go and see the membership unless you are acclaimed handsome... so what will confront you if your application is graciously approved? Well, if the first few members were ugly... and lets face it that's just a likely to be the case as handsome, beauty being in the eye of what would have been at the start a very subjective membership of one, then surely the votes will be to reject the handsome and admit only like types...

I felt an application coming on until, alas I found there was an age restriction as well. It seems males reach their sexual peak at 18 (eh... lads... lads) and girls when they're 30. So DarwinDating takes the view anyone over 35 is too old to breed within their membership. No, honestly its true, not only looks but age... and surely the emphasis on dating to breed is not Darwinism but Eugenics... a wholly darker proposition.

Now it should be added that this site, whilst it seems to operate in accordance with its own rules does at least acknowledge the silliness of it all... pointing out that Charles Darwin himself was no looker and in a supreme irony therefore could not join the site dedicated in his name... and is free to members so if it is a truly subjective horror show then nothing is lost...

The same cannot be said for http://www.hotenough.org/ which actually genuinely follows this principle in a pay site, although you can be admitted if over 40... and the under 40's are not allowed to vote in that classification. In fact the whole membership process is sooo complex with different tiers for the stunning as opposed to the merely beautiful... and for age groups too. To join you have to score at least a 6 and maintain that score in order to retain membership being constantly subject to the vote...

Unsurprisingly, annual membership is probably a bad idea, especially with my looks...

**Oddbat would like to point out he is not claiming to approve any of the sites mentioned in this blog and is not advertising or receiving any payment or commission... but if any of those mentioned want to slip him a tenner, or free membership (Ok... so the membership is unlikely!)

© Oddbat 2008