Ida Maria... I knew an Ida

On my way home last Sunday I was listening to the chart... yes... that is the singles chart... not some kind of review about the functions of excel... when I heard a song was making its way up called Ida Maria... now initially I thought they had mispronounced... surely Ave Maria... a little upmarket for Radio 1 but who knows???

No...it wasn't Ave Maria... it was in fact a young artiste struggling with the unfortunate name IDA...

Now I knew an IDA when I was a kid in the seventies... she was a friend of my Grans... habitually in surgical stockings... complaining about her varicose veins and lamenting the loss of her "Sidney"during the war... So... you may think... isn't that quite cute/sad... pining for her dear husband all those years... well no... not really... Sidney was her Yorkshire terrier... killed when he strayed onto a Ministry of Defence training ground... Her husband... Albert... left her shortly after the war for the girl who gave him double helpings of dumplings in the NAFFI... as IDA never tired of reminding us...Now this is clear evidence of the resurgence of prewar names... y'know the ones that nobody would touch with a bargepole after the war 'cos they were as naff as... well... rationing, rickets and Goebbels... Today however so many girls labour with the names... Emily... Amy... Rose... now it seems the worst are coming back... Ada and Ida... Yet only girls are subjected to this trend... Noticed any boys named Sidney, Albert or Roger in the christening announcements... of course not... they're rubbish names... Kind of conjures up the image of an overweight bloke in a string vest with a pot belly, snowy white legs, socks and sandals... sporting the obligatory knotted hanky...

Now ironically I did spot just one fashion disaster on my holiday... and decided to have a word with him... we knotted hanky wearers must stick together... Guess what..? He was a Sid... so this is the problem... Men don't have the imagination to depart from the reputation carried by their name... christening a child Albert is to condemn the poor infant to a handlebar moustache, obesity and a lifetime of gout...

But girls... well it seems the fairer sex revel in the opportunity to overturn the reputation accorded by their names...Well one can only assume so by IDA's latest offering entitled "I like you so much better when you're naked" a song whose lyrics wholly challenge the reputation that goes with her name...

My grans friend IDA would NEVER sing that... "....Eee"... she'd say..."Don't tek off yer cardy... yer'll catch yer death in this 'ouse... can't get gas board to do nowt... plays havoc wi' me piles... 'angin like grapes they are..."

C'mon... who'd want to take off their clothes after hearing that...?

© OddBat 2008