Penis enlargement or reduction? What a "MORONIC" formula

During a particularly mindless exchange on facebook recently a friend raised a mathematical question about the decline in the male member with passing years and whether this could be expressed algebraically. I am sure others have chickened out from attempting to form the calculus, but saddo I am, I "rose" to the challenge, only to find that when I typed up the equation she was disinterested in the result.

So never one to waste my time (only if you take the view of course that this is a useful excercise in futility ) I decided to post it as a blog instead.

Allow me to introduce you to the:-

Manhood
Only
Reduction
Overall
Numeric
Indication
Calculator

This is the worlds first ever non-patented method of calculating the decline in male members caused by the ravages of time, allowing both men and their partners to know exactly what the future has in store.

So who says the blogs are pointless?

So, to begin. We first have to make an assumption of decline, which in this case I have assumed at 1% per annum, although as you will see below, I allow for adjustments to the formula to allow for more optimistic, or pessimistic, views. My 1% per annum basically leads to a 50% decline in a manhood over a period of 50 years. But what my friend wanted to know is what the length of her mans manhood will be at any given point in the future. A most reasonable, and scientific question, so in the interest of the advancement of mankind and science, I now publish my formula here.

One way of expressing the calculation to discover the solution would be:-

FM= M - ( M x FA - AN )
oooooooooooo--------
ooooooo(oooooo 100oo)

Where FM is Future Manhood
and M is current length of Manhood
and FA is Future Age at which you wish to calculate Manhood
and AN is Age Now of subject

So if say you wanted to know the size of the manhood by age 53 when it measured 9.9" at age 30, (which for ease of calculation I convert to 250mm).

FM= 250mm- (250 x 53 - 30 ) 53-30 is 23
oooooooooooooooooo--------
ooooooooooo( ooooooo100oo)

which then becomes FM = 250mm ( 250mm x 23/100)... and 250mm x 23% is 57mm

So 250mm - 57mm is 193mm, or a still very healthy 7 1/2 inches.


But for those starting with a below average 5" or 127mm at 30 their weener will unfortunately reduce as follows by 53

FM= 127mm - (127 x 53 - 30 ) which as we know IS 23/100
oooooooooooooooooo--------
00000oooo000(ooooooo100oo)

So FM = 127mm - ( 127 x 23%) which is 29mm...
So FM is 127mm - 29mm = 98mm

So this man suffers a loss of only 29mm but when subtracted from his much smaller starting point leaves a pretty poor 98mm... or just less than 4 inches.

As a matter of interest at 65 a man with the supposedly average 6" would end up on this equation with only 4" too, although our 5" man would have only 3 1/4" ... not a nice thought. If you took the view that your manhood would decline at a lesser speed then just change the equation in brackets by adding a multiplier as follows:-

FM= M - ( M x FA - AN x 0.5 )
oooooooooooo---------------
ooooooo(ooooooooo 100oooo)

That would halve the decline, of course the cruel amongst you may think that my neutral starting point is much too optimistic, in which case change the 0.5 for a 2 which will double the decline from my starting point of 1% per annum... leaving our poor 5" man at 30 with only 2 3/4" by 65...

Oooooh, one for all you sadists out there that.

So, watch out for this in The Lancet...

© OddBat 2009