Happy 2009

I woke up on Monday and lord I felt bad,
My ears and my joints all ached like mad,
Me head was pounding and my arse felt alight,
I called up the office to say I wasnt alright.
*
No sympathetic voices from the office came back,
The server had decided to fall of its rack,
So no computers could work and my staff were just waiting,
But as computers run our phones we could do no trading.
*
Not that much could have been done in any event,
As the boiler had broke on the coldest day yet,
So the staff were all freezing just standing there,
While the office manager ripped out her hair.
*
Having reported in ill, I had done what was needed,
So I returned to my bed feeling duly defeated,
I had hoped for sympathy, some kindly good thoughts,
Instead I get a repair bill ending with lots of noughts.
*
So if anyone mails me saying "Happy New Year"
You will understand when I grab hold of your ear,
And yell real loudly so your eardrums crack,
"Fuck off with the New Year, give me 2008 back!"

****

***

**

*

© OddBat 2009